Soon we were allocated a permanent residence, 14 Viscount Street, Mufalira. After settling down in the house allocated to us, it came to pass that the giant anthill in the back garden had to be removed, the reason for this being that it might harbour snakes and all kinds of other nasties, so a huge bulldozer came into the garden and chopped and cleaved and eventually carted away the giant anthill.

My brother and I were playing in the newly cleared space and having a great time, there was so much more space than before and so many things to look at. We were admiring the Shongololo's (centipede's) and all the little gogo's (insects) left behind and uncovered by the anthill removal, when suddenly my brother stopped playing and stared at me, a look of horror in his eyes, and then he began laughing (he really was a bit odd). I asked him what was wrong; he was laughing so hard and pointing at me; he could hardly answer, then he told me. You have a Locust (he used the Chibemba word for it, but I can't remember what it was) on your shoulder! My immediate reaction was to tell him he was talking nonsense, he was always playing tricks on me, however I looked up and over my shoulder where lo and behold a huge Locust was crawling whilst peering intently into my eyes.

When I think of it now I think the Locust was really being rather friendly and didn't mean me any harm. I like to suppose he was just confused because his home had been carted away and was meaning to ask me if I knew where it had been taken. However, in the instant that I saw the locust I truly believed that it meant to do me some severe kind of harm. I was too afraid to touch it, so I couldn't brush it off my shoulder, the only way I could think to react was to run around in ever maddening circles, sort of like a chicken with its head cut off, while screaming at my brother to get it off …..get it off… continually looking over my shoulder at the insect. This kind of reaction just added fuel to the fire of my brothers' already quirky (actually sick) sense of humour and imagination and he just sat down and laughed even harder. I was devastated, I was crying and being attacked by a giant child eating locust and all my BIG brother could do was laugh.

Eventually my mother had to come out and see what all the screaming was about and when she asked Ivan (my brother) what on earth he had done to me this time for me to be screaming like a banshee and running around the garden in a panic? He answers her; "nothing mum, a locust flew on her shoulder, it wasn't me" so she tells him to get it off me and stop all the bloody noise. Rescue at last, but by now I am so panicked that I can't stop running and arms flailing everywhere except in the direction of the Locust, my brother had to catch me and remove the poor terrified creature. I tell you when you don't trust your own brother and he comes after you to try to rescue you, it is very difficult to stand still because you never know what he will get up to next. It took him forever to calm me down, and he couldn't stop laughing, but knowing him as I do, he wasn't in that great a hurry to end what was a very opportune moment for him to enjoy a huge joke at my expense.

You might think that I have been very unkind to my brother in this story, but you would have to understand a few things about his modus operandi and character in order to know that he enjoyed every moment of the proceedings with great relish.