-3-

All night Jonathan watched Pippa sleep. He felt totally impotent. He attempted to strangle her thrice but his fingers swept through her flesh. Giving up, he resigned himself to trying to fathom Pippa’s motivation. It could not be money; he wasn’t rich.

He decided to follow her around for the next few days. Hopefully her actions would enlighten him. The next day yielded no answers as she played the grief-stricken widow with gusto. She received visits from friends, co-workers and with each she bawled magnificently. The days that followed were equally bewildering. Jonathan’s funeral was a small affair and throughout it Pippa was quiet and withdrawn.

Day after day he watched her with augmenting puzzlement and then, exactly a week after his death, Pippa began behaving peculiarly. She dressed herself in a sleek dress that showed off her legs. She even wore a lot of make-up. When she was sufficiently dolled up, Pippa got into her car and drove out of the city to the South Shore. Jonathan was rarely this far out because it was a French speaking area.

She got out of the car outside an archaic tenement. She rang a doorbell and after a great deal of shuffling and moving things around inside, she was welcomed into a shoddy apartment by a short, plump man.
Jonathan followed her in and as the door was closed, Jonathan recognised Pippa’s host. It was Davey Odeyus. He had been a student in one of Jonathan’s creative writing classes a while ago. The repugnant little man had always disgusted Jonathan. Other than the fact that he always reeked of paint (he figured himself an artist and always had spots of paint adorning his clothes to remind people of this), he also had mannerisms that were exceptionally irritating. He would always stick his circular belly out when he was angry, pouting with it as opposed to his lips. When he was excited, he would bob up and down. In arguments held during the Creative Writing class, this bobbing became actual lift-off and he would jump up and down as he shouted his points in an equally annoying voice. He was like a cross between a marsupial and a gnome. Other than the voice, his gnomic genes had manifested themselves in an unkempt, bushy beard that covered two thirds of his face; usually decorated with a mixture of paint flecks, crumbs and grease from food he had gobbled. Jonathan wondered when Pippa had met him, but even more than this, he wondered why in Christ’s name she was visiting him. His questions were answered quicker than he expected, for, on seating herself on a grimy couch, Pippa spoke. “I know it’s only been a week, but, I couldn’t stay away.”

Jonathan was aghast.

“I understand Philippa. Every moment away from you has been torture.”

“Oh, my God,” Jonathan gasped. What followed was more traumatising to Jonathan than seeing his own corpse. Davey rushed forward and kissed Pippa violently. He pulled her to a standing position and then began kneading her buttocks with his stubby fingers. It only got worse because, following a clumsy disrobing, the two of them proceeded to copulate.

Jonathan wanted to leave, but the travesty he was witnessing transfixed his legs to the floor. What? His mind screeched. Don’t tell me Pippa killed me so that she could be together with this ugly dwarf! At least if it had been for some Don Juan.

Any hopes Jonathan might have had that Pippa had been seduced by Davey’s sexual prowess were dashed when after barely a minute, he had reached completion. At least he pulled his jeans back up, so Jonathan was rescued from the sight of his furry posterior. In his mind, Jonathan envisioned the scene. Davey coming to his house to hand in a late assignment, meeting his wife, and then seducing her… Impossible. And yet, on the couch, both panting, the two lovers once more launched into Harlequin jargon.

“I love you so much it tears my soul into shreds.”

“I love you too Davey...”

It was nauseating, not to mention, implausible. Perhaps Jonathan was in hell. For unless it was punishment for his sins, Jonathan could not understand what he beheld. Pippa was perfect. With a supple form, small but perfectly shaped breasts and a face that seemed an amalgam following a conference of great artists on ideal beauty. In her arms, was Davey. For the first time in his life, Jonathan found himself wondering if ‘Beauty and the Beast’ was not just a fairy-tale after all.

“Did the police ask a lot of questions?”

“No Muffin,” Pippa responded.

Muffin! What kind of pet name was that!

Jonathan watched as Pippa recounted her perfect execution of murder, then, elated, the two engaged in a repeat performance of their inept rutting. This time Jonathan left the room. He tried to bang his head against the wall. Unfortunately, his head went straight through and his eyes were once more assaulted by the image of Pippa and Davey.

After an hour or so, Pippa left and Jonathan followed, depressed. To think, she had even dressed up for the contemptible little troll. Unless there was a book launch or an equally important function, she never dressed up for Jonathan. He was now even more resolved to have revenge on Pippa.

That night, Jonathan tried again to choke Pippa. Then to haunt her, attempting to move objects with his mind. He could not do any of the things he’d read that ghosts were able to do. Jonathan had tried other things too; like flying. While he was able to become gaseous and hover, he was not able to rise above his body height or move faster than his own running speed. The strange thing was his movement through objects. Most of the time, while he could not affect objects, large objects could affect him. If he sat in a chair he didn’t fall through it and he could travel by train. Jonathan concluded from the way gravity and other forces still affected him that this must mean he was still made of particles, even if they were invisible to the human eye.

The strange thing was that sometimes he did fall through things and go through walls. He could not make it happen at will, and to walk through a door he usually turned himself into a gaseous fog and slid through the keyhole. Sometimes, when he was angry, joyous, or under great emotional strain like he was when he first saw Pippa and Davey sleep together, he would go through objects. This made no sense to him, but as he could not explain it, he merely accepted it as fact.

Pippa and Davey’s relationship was harder to accept than these metaphysical paradoxes. The next day yielded another torturous session of watching Pippa dress up, this time, in a sheer blouse that was partially see through in the light. Again, Jonathan followed her. He wanted to stay at home (she’d moved back into the house) but found himself following despite himself.

At his apartment Davey made her a gourmet meal of spaghetti and pasta sauce that he was audacious enough to serve her by candlelight. As they ate, Pippa commented, “I don’t know how I stayed married to that Neanderthal for so long.”

Jonathan bubbled with rage. He would somehow exact his revenge if it was the last thing he did. “I know,” he muttered angrily. “I’ll possess him.”

Without further ado, Jonathan jumped into Davey’s body. This, alas, did not work. He ended up plopped on the floor behind Davey. Pippa was in the midst of insulting every aspect of Jonathan. Enraged, he did not give up and he concentrated on his body until he became gaseous again. He imagined himself as a long, thin, smoky snake and he drifted through the air, sliding through Davey's ear, into his brain.

As he touched Davey this time, Jonathan was filled with immense pain. Davey convulsed, vomiting. Jonathan was ejected from Davey’s brain and he took a few seconds to recover. The sight that met him when he recuperated made the pain worth it. Some of Davey’s vomit had splashed onto Pippa.

Jonathan laughed triumphantly.

Pippa left soon, wearing a filthy sweater of Davey’s to conceal the stain.

“This is just the beginning,” Jonathan sniggered.

He did not follow Pippa this time, but rather stayed behind with Davey. He tried to slide into Davey’s brain again but was too exhausted to manage.

Not to worry, he comforted himself. I’ve got all the time in the world.